Author: Admin

K is For Kakapo

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Kakapo – A large, flightless, nocturnal New Zealand parrot (also called parrot owl) with greenish plumage, now endangered

I like the sound of the word and I like the bird. Not that I’ve ever seen one, but I have a real soft spot for parrots. We had an African Grey, Corky was her name and chasing me to bite my toes was her game. My mother actually taught her to do that. Seriously, because she was fed up with me getting sand worms in my feet from walking around barefoot in Nkana Zambia when I was a kid. Corky got me a couple of times, but nothing drastic, I mean she could’ve nipped off a toe with one bite, but she didn’t, despite the fact that I teased her. Well, how would you like having a parrot sneak up on you and latch on a toe?

She always accompanied us on holidays, down to South Africa to visit the relatives, day trips up to the Congo, and then there was that three-month long road trip up to East Africa when we were all almost killed by rebels. Another story for another time.

J is For Jackalope

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Jackalope – a mythical animal of North American folklore, described as a jackrabbit with antelope horns or deer antlers.

It’s possible that the tales of jackalopes were inspired by sightings of rabbits infected with the Shope papilloma virus, which causes the growth of horn- and antler-like tumors in various places on the rabbit’s head and body. However, the concept of an animal hybrid occurs in many cultures, for example as the griffin and the chimera. Indeed, the term chimera has become the categorical term for such composites within the English language.

The jackalope has bred the rise of many outlandish (and largely tongue-in-cheek) claims as to the creature’s habits. For example, it is said to be a hybrid of the pygmy-deer and a species of “killer rabbit”. Reportedly, jackalopes are extremely shy unless approached. Legend also has it that female jackalopes can be milked as they sleep belly up and that the milk can be used for a variety of medicinal purposes. It has also been said that the jackalope can convincingly imitate any sound, including the human voice. It uses this ability to elude pursuers, chiefly by using phrases such as “There he goes! That way!” During days of the Old West, when cowboys gathered by the campfires singing at night, jackalopes could often be heard mimicking their voices. It is said that a jackalope may be caught by putting a flask of whiskey out at night. The jackalope will drink its fill of whiskey and its intoxication will make it easier to hunt. In some parts of the United States it is said that jackalope meat has a taste similar to lobster. However, legend has it that they are dangerous if approached. It has also been said that jackalopes will only breed during electrical storms including hail, explaining its rarity.

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I is For Idiolect

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Idiolect – a person’s individual speech pattern. The way in which a person uses language.

His speech was garbled; he uttered harsh language; he recorded the spoken language of the streets.

So, if I understand correctly from the third description above, “Street Talk” would be an idiolect as in the conversation below:

Tommy – “Yo dude! I’m like going to totally 360 over this Austin Allegro on a baking tray!”

Billy -“Whoa boi! That’s totally Radiculas.”

Bottom line though, everybody on the planet has his own way with language, each one of us has an idiolect.

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H is For Hiney

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Hiney – Either of the two rounded prominences on the human torso that are posterior to the hips and formed by the gluteal muscles and underlying structures.

In other words a person’s rear end: buttocks. Americans use the word “butt,” which I’d never heard before I emigrated here. For some reason this word tickled me no end, as does hiney. Actually, butt is funnier, hiney is just kind of weird. How on earth did they come up with that one?

So here’s a joke kids tell. “Did you know boys have four knees? Their left knee, their right knee, their hiney, and their weenie!” (I’ll have to remember to use weenie for when I come to the Ws. On second thought, maybe not.)

 

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G is For Gongoozle

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Gongoozle – To stare at.

Harley gongoozled Jacqueline, his breath ragged with desire.

Whew!  Actually, Victor can only gongoozle with Jacqueline in the United Kingdom where you’ll find gongoozlers galore, those who enjoy watching activity on the canals. “Gongoozler” may have been canal workers’ slang for an observer standing apparently idle on the towpath. Though it was used derisively in the past, today the term is regularly used, perhaps with a little irony, by gongoozlers to describe themselves and their hobby.

The word may have arisen from words in the Lincolnshire dialect: gawn and gooze, both meaning to stare or gape. It might be presumed that such an expression would date from the nineteenth century, when canals were at their peak, but the word is only recorded from the end of that century or the early twentieth. “Gongoozler” as a term may also be used in any circumstance in which people are spectating without contributing to either the content or interest in the event.  That wouldn’t be Harley, now would it, not if his breath is “ragged with desire.”

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F is For Formication

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A reminder that I’m doing “The Funniest Words in English” for my trip down the A-Z Blogging Challenge path, (well, not always hahaha funny, but kind of off the beaten track funny, like maybe a little odd, sometimes).

Formication – The sense of ants crawling on your skin.

You thought that was fornication, didn’t you? No, that one’s not really odd or funny. Well, yes it is kind of. I mean when Father O’Connor pontificates about it in Nkana’s Catholic Church you attend with your girlfriend even though you’re not a Catholic and you’re a kid in the first blush of sexuality and the two of you get the giggles and can’t stop.

Formication is about something that could be very serious and not much fun, unless it’s just pins and needles because you’ve been sitting on your foot in rapt attention to the first boy who paid attention to you. If however there’s deadness, numbness and paraesthesia–itching or burning usually associated with peripheral nerve damage–then it might just be serious.

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E is For Egg On

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Egg On – To urge someone to do something that is usually negative.

Like the time my boy cousin–two years older than me–egged on eleven-year-old me to jump from my grandparents roof in Middleburg, South Africa. I did it. It hurt like hell, but I acted like it was no big deal, well, mostly. I gained a small measure of respect for that. For a while.

So where did this term come from? Turns out that ‘egg’ of ‘egg on’ is a straightforward variant of ‘edge’, so to ‘egg someone on’ is to edge, or urge, them forward. Egg and edge both have the look and feel of Viking words and this first impression turns out to be correct, as they both derive from the Old Norse ‘eddja’.

Egg has been used as a verb in English since around the 13th century and appears in print in the Trinity College Homer, in the form of ‘eggede’, circa 1200.

 

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D is For Dinkum

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Dinkum – (Australian and New Zealand) genuine, authentic, guileless.

As in, He was a fair dinkum bloke with no pretensions.  I’ve always liked this word, another one we didn’t use back home in Africa.  According to Merriam-Webster, the first known use of this word was in 1905, origin unknown. Our word for genuine was pukka, (do not pronounce puke-a), no doubt from our colonial relationship to India. Origin, Hindi and Urdu and means cooked, ripe, solid, from Sanskrit pakva. Makes sense?

Merriam-Webster has pukka as a synonym for dinkum. Now maybe pukka can be wiggled into dinkum, but I don’t think so. The latter is more along the lines of bona fide, certifiable, as in Pukka quarters with a swarm of servants. Dinkum is well, more personal.

 

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C is For Crapulence

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Crapulence – Discomfort from eating or drinking too much.

I NEVER do that.

Jan's birthday 2011 meI like this word–I’m a lover of cuss words, well, some of them, and this word has one right up front. “Crap.” I would’ve loved it as a kid, because I wasn’t allowed to swear and I could say CRAPulence with impunity. Well, that’s if the word crap meant anything back home in Zambia, which it didn’t. Instead we said bad words like bloody hell under our breaths.

 

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B is For Blunderbuss

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Blunderbuss – 1. A muzzle-loading firearm with a short barrel and flaring muzzle to facilitate loading.  2. one who blunders. 3. disorganized activity. (It’s also the name of Jack White’s album of last year–love the Jack.)

 

I can cop to blundering which according to Merriam-Webster means to make a mistake through stupidity, ignorance, or carelessness, but I’m going with disorganized activity. Yep, that’s definitely happening, Spring fever, I think. (Like I’m always organized, otherwise, ha!)

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